The younger sibling syndrome

The Nation

When I was a kid, my father told me something that ran along the lines of, “Duwa, since you are the younger one, throughout life, you will always get the smaller share.” He was talking about sharing food with my brother. Food, even when it was supposed to be divided equally, saw my brother getting a bigger share. If there was an extra chocolate, Aiya would be the one who got to enjoy it. This isn’t the only perk he enjoys as the older sibling.


My brother has never been a dictator, nor has he bossed me around. There are some stories though, that make me question just how much torture a younger sibling is expected to suffer.



This is one of those stories I know only because my parents love to retell it over and over again. As a toddler, I was really chubby and would spend my days in my playpen. My brother had a tricycle and was old enough to enjoy the freedom a playpen does not offer. Yet, he needed more entertainment. So he would take one of my toys, place it a few inches outside the playpen and wait for me to reach out for it. Aiya would then ride over my pudgy hand with his tricycle, leaving me screaming and crying.

We have come a long way since the days when I was someone he could bully and tease. He still does annoy me though, patiently waiting for an opportunity to be a typical older brother. Yet, it’s all part of siblinghood. As the younger one, I have accepted that more often than not, I have to bow down to my brother. While I do protest against the never ending duties a younger sibling is weighed down by, I still feel happy and proud to be able to, in a way, return the favour. For without my brother, I wouldn’t be able to do many things. He has to put up with my clumsy ways and computer illiteracy. He even tolerates my off-key singing, which not many do.

Sadly, I have seen that many people do not accept their role as a younger sibling. Best put, you are a serf to the tsar that is your older sibling. If you are good enough a serf and your sibling is good enough a tsar, your relationship won’t be strained. As a younger sibling it is your duty to respect your older sibling, even if the age gap is just a year.An older sibling deserves to be respected. If he doesn’t have a place to sit, offer him your seat. Don’t talk back to him.

When sharing food with an older sibling, offer the bigger share to him. It is unfair, but he has a right to it since he was here first. Don’t be bitter about the perks your older sibling enjoys. He will earn his independence before you. You are likely to receive less attention from your parents. You have to accept this, for there are many perks of being the younger sibling too.

One of the most important things between siblings is love. Siblings rarely say they love each other. Yet, the bond siblings share is extremely strong and that love is difficult to replace. Yet, some people tend to think siblings don’t matter. They don’t appreciate their siblings.

Something most people without siblings ask me is what it is like to have one. They say they wish they had a brother or sister, for they can’t imagine what life is like with one. Truth be told, I can’t imagine what life will be like without a sibling. Of course being the younger one means I’ll always get the smaller share, yet, I know that only Aiya will drive for more than an hour in heavy traffic to pick me up when he could be watching a geeky TV show on vehicles instead.

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