Making the First Move

Have you watched Pride and Prejudice that came out in 2005? I think I read a version of the novel, but oh well! I can't remember. Anyway, you are more likely to have watched the movie which stars Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen.

(okay so just so you don't think I'm the kind of girl who remembers the actors who starred in the movie, and not the novel it self, I had to Google the above information)

So back to Pride and Prejudice, Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet are incredibly in love but they don't know it and finally they have a 'moment' and realize there is no use in pretending to not love each other.

SPOILER ALERT!

(don't tell me I didn't warn you)

I'm seriously going to reveal the end of the movie/novel!

Here goes. Final warning.

Okay.

So  Mr Darcy walks over to Mr. Bennet's study, has a long chat with him and asks his daughter's hand in marriage. It is only when Mr. Benent approves that Mr. Darcy goes over to Elizabeth and then they kiss. So back in the day of Jane Austen, who wrote the novel, a man needed the female's father's permission before courting her. Which was all romantic, no wait, Romantic (notice the capital r!)

Today, men and women date without the intention of marriage. They date even though there is no love. Its something you do for fun, nothing serious. Not to say that love is dead. There are those couples too, who are together forever, and then finally get married and are well, happy, I guess.

Times have changed. The days when a twenty year old blushes and looks away quickly when her special someone looks her way are gone. No more do females spend days fixing up dresses for dinners where her special someone may finally ask her to dance. Those days are gone and yet, men are still expected to be chivalrous. Now I've heard of men who don't seem to know how to treat a female. They beat them, treat them like mere objects and don't consider them people with feelings and emotions.

Yet, there are still men who hold open doors for females. They believe in the whole 'ladies first' thing. They offer to help you out and treat you well. And to any female who says chivalry is dead, maybe you are associating with the wrong crowd. Because it isn't.

Still the question is put forth by even the most chivalrous of men; who should make the first move?

Here's why a male should.

• For centuries and centuries, the man has been making the first move. They put so much effort into wooing a female and at the end of it all, realize it was all worth it. And as men tend to put lots of thought into what they do, if a man actually puts a lot of effort into pursuing a female who dismissed him the first time, well, you could be quite certain he actually loves her.

• Its incredibly Romantic when the man does some cute little thing to ask a girl out. Not sit her down and have a 'chat' with her. Not send her a text that reads, "wna go out w me?" It maybe cheesy and gooey and mushy but it's incredibly cute and romantic.

• Women don't know what they want. I'm assuming most women are like me. I don't know what I want in life. So I would go on with life, never considering a relationship because I assume I don't really need it. Yet, I'm sure if someone actually does make a move that way, and I give it some thought, I would realize that it is what I want in life. So if you don't make the first move, I wouldn't too (because I'm quite clueless about the world) and we would both end up sad and lonely for the rest of our lives. (Okay, that's highly unlikely, but it could happen!)

• We are giving you the opportunity to dazzle us. We are giving you the opportunity to prove that you are worth the heartbreak and whatnot that will follow. So take up the opportunity and make the first move.

Now here's why a female should make the first move.

• If a man can, so can a woman. If you are interested in a man, just make a move. Don't wait until he makes a move because he could be as clueless as a tomato!

• We all know a man's brain over-thinks or under-thinks. He will either worry so much about it, and fear that he'll hurt you and will end up not making that move. Or he'll assume that you aren't interested in him and not think too much about all those 'moments' you two share and will dismiss it.

• Men are quite dumb. The net must be pulled before the fish gets away. Men don't get that the prey is in the snare. Sometimes, the most obvious signs are not understood by them. So do the man a favor and just ask him out!

• Even though they pretend to be pretentious idiots, some men are incredibly shy. If they were to ask a girl on a date the question would go like this, "Ummm so I was uh umm wondering if umm you would uh like to uh well, here's the umm thing. I know this umm place where uh they have umm really uh really good..." And by that time the woman is already married with three kids! So men are shy. Shy guys are incredibly cute! (However, treat a shy guy like a scared deer. Do not startle him. You'll either scare him away or kill him.)

Here's why a man need not make the first move.

• Look, I have no real argument for this. If the female is a feminist, you shouldn't make the first move. You are in fact, better off not dating her. But if she is one of those "its an insult when men make the first move" thinkers, leave her alone. She's a monster in disguise!

Here's why a woman need not make the first move.

• Okay, for centuries society believed the man should be the one taking those first steps. If you care about society's opinion then do not make the first move. Female Forward Peters are often considered immodest and simply put, slutty. For some reason women are thought to be these fragile and quiet species who should be treated as if they are porcelain dolls!

• Some men are terrified of independent females who have modern attitudes. Men who are still quite conservative in their thinking do not like females who do what they do. If you are 'in love' with such a man, here's a warning. They are evil people who will slowly get very possessive and won't let you have your own life.

I guess these arguments can be twisted around a bit to answer the question, "who should pay during a date?"

If a man has a proper income and/or insisted on the fancy and expensive restaurant knowing I cannot afford it, I would expect him to pay. However, a relationship is a 50-50 deal. Either you pool in, or you pay for every other date. So the man pays for Date #1 and the female for Date #2 and so on. The better and more Romantic thing to do is for the male to pay for the first few dates. And after you are comfortable with each other, you can both contribute.

Now this is for the men who pretend to look in their wallet and fumble around looking for the cash they swear they have.

We see through your act, you stingy fellow! If you can't afford it, or don't want to pay, just tell us straight off. Most females work or have a steady allowance. We can afford to pay for the meal. Don't go all, "I must have left my money at home. I'll pay you back later."