'Cause Pigs can Fly

Remember that incident where Bhoomi Harendran wasn’t allowed into The Love Bar? Well, in the video, the bouncer mentions the word ‘rupaya’ and the word stayed in my mind. Of course, I understand that the incident was more about transphobia and less about what this post is about. I’m not taking away from the fact that the LGBT+ community continues to face a crap tonne of discrimination and hate in this country and the world. But that word rupaya and the bouncer’s use of the word made me think of how we tend to judge people and make assumptions about them based on their appearance, mostly because, a few weeks ago, I felt my rupaya or appearance being judged when the bouncers were considering if I should be let into a similar establishment. I think about a woman in a short tight dress at a high-end club being judged by one standard and a woman in similar attire standing on the pavement in the night by another. We look at people and stick so many labels on them based on how they look

Whenever I feel lonely – and I feel this way often – I am overwhelmed by a sense of guilt because I how can I be lonely when I have amazing friends and a wonderful family? I have people who actually love me, who reach out, who are there for me without me having to ask them. And yet, it could be when I wake up or when I’m in the train or when I’m coming home after work or when I have dinner by myself or when I lie in bed, tired, but awake. It could be at some random moment. But I’ll feel this deep loneliness that sometimes feels like physical pain. And as silly and embarrassing as it is, this loneliness stems not from a lack of friends or family. It stems from a lack of romantic relationships. That’s the truth. As much as I am okay most of the time about being alone, there are moments that take me off guard and make me hate myself for not being able to be enough for anyone. And before you come at me with your plenty of fish in the sea or it will happen at the right time nonsense