'Cause Pigs can Fly

Word of the day: Hoontenanny An informal session at which folk singers and instrumentalists perform for their own enjoyment Let's talk about dating. I had issues with physical contact and intimacy for the longest time. Just two years ago, I stood in front of the mirror, tears in my eyes, coming to terms with the fact that I was probably going to end up alone. I thought I was asexual and while asexual people can be in relationships, there was also a lot to do with commitment, romance, love and a fear of heartbreak that complicated things in my mind. This is obviously a personal post, and I may even revert it to drafts. But I think this is something I need to talk about, for myself. To make sense of things. I spent my mid-teens and most of my 20s not really dabbling in dating or relationships or anything like that. There was obviously the lack of opportunity (I'm man-repellent) but there was also a fear of disappointing the other person or misleading them. I felt like it would be

Friendship has always been something intense, requiring a level of commitment and investment. You give your friends your time and energy. A part of your heart, space in your life. You spend time with them, even there is no purpose for that meetup. You care about them, look out for them, and remember things about them. Maybe this is a rather childish idea of friendship. Do adults really have the time or energy for this sort of thing? I'd like to thing that some of us do. This is why I sometimes have trouble making new friends. If we share a moment that so clearly paves the way for some sort of future together and you don't make an effort to reach out, I will take it as a sign that you are not worth it. If you can't understand the expectations and elements or components of friendship, then one of us is going to deal with more hurt than the other. But to some, I'm realising, friendship is almost an afterthought. They are flippant about it. They won't invest as much tim