I’m a big believer of moments. I believe they happen for a reason and I believe certain moments deserve or demand to be lived differently from others.
Some moments are to be spent with and around people. Sometimes you just need that one person who will look for you in a crowd, not because they are alone and seeking company but because they know you need them. Sometimes you need that person who will talk to you, even though you have no words to offer to them, the kind of people who will wait until you are ready to speak. Sometimes you need people who love you, even if you don’t or can’t love them, people you love even if they don’t or can’t love you, people who find happiness in your smiles and laughter or whose smiles and laughter give you reasons to be happy. Some moments demand to be spent with other people, a reminder that you aren’t alone in this world.
There are moments, however, when you need to be alone but not completely alone. You need a book that will take you to places you can never go yourself. A book that will give you characters to love and live through. Or it could be a song. A song that is yours, not shared with anyone else. You know all the words and it’s a song that knows you. It’s the arm around your shoulder that lets you know the world will be still soon. Or the kiss on your forehead that lets you know everything will be alright. It could be a film too. A film you’ve watched so many times you know all the words, the lines. You know the film like it was a memory that you lived through. Sometimes you need to be alone but not completely alone. Some moments demand this.
But then… there are moments when you have to be absolutely alone. When you can’t have other people telling you how to feel or what to do or what to think of. You need to lose your way in your thoughts and not have to translate them to words. You need to be given time to focus on yourself. At such moments, you need repetitive tasks. Tasks that don’t require much effort or thought. Like looking at the night sky or birds hopping from branch to branch. Like cleaning dishes or closing your eyes and following the random shapes and colors that hide behind your eyelids. During such moments, you need songs you don’t know, songs that won’t interrupt your thoughts or remind you of people, incidents and memories. Songs that are strangers.