Another's Shoes
Have you ever walked in someone else' shoes? Literally? I have. I often wear my mothers shoes (shoes include all types of footwear!) and sometimes whatever is lying around. Once I wore a man's rubber slippers. They were huge and wearing them felt... weird. Like the slippers would come of any second, and I had to press my feet into them to not trip over. Funny thing is a few minutes into wearing them, they actually became quite comfortable.
Now let's look at the not so literal walking in someone's shoes. Sometimes we fail to understand another's problems. We laugh at them and say, "Dude! I've got real issues. Just grow up." It's not fair to say this though. I mean, what are real issues? How are your issues more real than another's issues? What makes one issue real and another issue not real?
I used to rarely ever fall ill. Rarely take medicine and I absolutely hate taking pills. A recent back ache left me taking pain meds two times a day. And I would wake up needing the pills. I realized that I was actually living on pills. Mild painkillers, but if not for them, I would be in pain and unable to say, read or type. I'll just sleep or rather try to sleep all day. So I'm doing things, or going about because of these pills. And for the first time I know what it's like to be someone who has to take these pills to go on with life. Most people don't take anti-depressants seriously. "Who needs pills to stay happy?" we ask. Imagine though, if you woke up feeling sad, or unhappy. And you can't get through a single day without taking your pills.
For some reason, Thailand gives me slight, very slight nosebleeds. I've never understood why. Anyway, this time was worse. I couldn't blow my nose at times, without ending up with a tissue with small blood stains. Again, nothing serious. But imagine all the people who go through nosebleeds everyday? Who blow their noses and end up with a blood soaked tissue? Blood is a terrifying sight, and seeing your own blood isn't easy to just forget.
So pills and nosebleeds are quite normal things. Or rather, they are easier to understand. The problems we face in life. Recently, things between a friend and I went downhill. So downhill that things will never go uphill again. I was feeling quite down, and my grandmother talked to me about it. And many people didn't take any notice about this. They didn't ask any questions, they just accepted it. They took, "I'm fine" for an answer and left it at that. Yet, Athamma saw that for me, this wasn't just another bump in the road. Years from now, or even months, I will look at it like a very small bump in the road. But when everything was going down, when the truth kept hitting me hard, over and over again, she knew that it felt like my world was crumbling down. And she never told me that people have bigger issues, or that I have had bigger issues. She simply held my hand, in unsaid words, saying, "you'll be alright, I'll always be there."
Before you write off someone as an attention seeker, look into their problems. Sometimes, I worry over the simplest things. There are times when I have panicked over a missing post-it. I would worry about a missing pen. Some name scribbled on my notebook. Yet, for me, these are real issues. What if I had written something important on that post-it? What if I don't have another pen to write with? What if the scribble meant that someone else went through my notebook?
So walk in someone's shoes for a bit. You will then understand why people are the way they are. And you would also give your life more thought. Sometimes we think our problems aren't real enough to bother people with them. Yes, my backache is nothing compared to say cancer or AIDS. But it is still something. The central moment of my life may not be 'real' to some people. Yet, it is still extremely real to me. And when you are down, you don't need someone to kick you anymore. You don't need people who say, "your problems are so simple. Trust me, you don't want to be me right now."
Walk in someone's shoes, and picture what their life is like. It will be uncomfortable at first, but slowly, you will understand their life. And you will find comfort in it too.
Now let's look at the not so literal walking in someone's shoes. Sometimes we fail to understand another's problems. We laugh at them and say, "Dude! I've got real issues. Just grow up." It's not fair to say this though. I mean, what are real issues? How are your issues more real than another's issues? What makes one issue real and another issue not real?
I used to rarely ever fall ill. Rarely take medicine and I absolutely hate taking pills. A recent back ache left me taking pain meds two times a day. And I would wake up needing the pills. I realized that I was actually living on pills. Mild painkillers, but if not for them, I would be in pain and unable to say, read or type. I'll just sleep or rather try to sleep all day. So I'm doing things, or going about because of these pills. And for the first time I know what it's like to be someone who has to take these pills to go on with life. Most people don't take anti-depressants seriously. "Who needs pills to stay happy?" we ask. Imagine though, if you woke up feeling sad, or unhappy. And you can't get through a single day without taking your pills.
For some reason, Thailand gives me slight, very slight nosebleeds. I've never understood why. Anyway, this time was worse. I couldn't blow my nose at times, without ending up with a tissue with small blood stains. Again, nothing serious. But imagine all the people who go through nosebleeds everyday? Who blow their noses and end up with a blood soaked tissue? Blood is a terrifying sight, and seeing your own blood isn't easy to just forget.
So pills and nosebleeds are quite normal things. Or rather, they are easier to understand. The problems we face in life. Recently, things between a friend and I went downhill. So downhill that things will never go uphill again. I was feeling quite down, and my grandmother talked to me about it. And many people didn't take any notice about this. They didn't ask any questions, they just accepted it. They took, "I'm fine" for an answer and left it at that. Yet, Athamma saw that for me, this wasn't just another bump in the road. Years from now, or even months, I will look at it like a very small bump in the road. But when everything was going down, when the truth kept hitting me hard, over and over again, she knew that it felt like my world was crumbling down. And she never told me that people have bigger issues, or that I have had bigger issues. She simply held my hand, in unsaid words, saying, "you'll be alright, I'll always be there."
Before you write off someone as an attention seeker, look into their problems. Sometimes, I worry over the simplest things. There are times when I have panicked over a missing post-it. I would worry about a missing pen. Some name scribbled on my notebook. Yet, for me, these are real issues. What if I had written something important on that post-it? What if I don't have another pen to write with? What if the scribble meant that someone else went through my notebook?
So walk in someone's shoes for a bit. You will then understand why people are the way they are. And you would also give your life more thought. Sometimes we think our problems aren't real enough to bother people with them. Yes, my backache is nothing compared to say cancer or AIDS. But it is still something. The central moment of my life may not be 'real' to some people. Yet, it is still extremely real to me. And when you are down, you don't need someone to kick you anymore. You don't need people who say, "your problems are so simple. Trust me, you don't want to be me right now."
Walk in someone's shoes, and picture what their life is like. It will be uncomfortable at first, but slowly, you will understand their life. And you will find comfort in it too.
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