The Truth

Something we always avoid is the truth. The truth is bitter, a lie seems better. But you can spin tales, tell a thousand lies, and yet, the truth will remain the truth. No one may know this is the truth, but it will still be the truth (reminds me of knowledge and how knowing doesn't make something more or less real. Knowing the Earth orbits around the sun, doesn't change the fact that it does.)

And yet, the truth is the hardest to say. You can't look into someone's eyes, or even sit next to them and tell them the truth. Especially when the truth isn't what they want to hear. And when the truth is what you wish you didn't have to say.

Sometimes I wish I could tell people that I need a moment to be honest with them. Tell them the truth, no matter how hurtful or selfish it is. In Will Grayson, Will Grayson, straight Will has ten minutes of honesty with Jane. I need that with certain people. I need them to not interrupt, but listen while I tell them, how hurt I was by what they did, how much of an illusion they turned out to be. I want to be honest about my feelings. But even though we tell our selves to live in the moment, these moments or the present finds it way into the future. This is why the past haunts. And this is why memory haunts. We can't be completely honest with people because the truth doesn't stay in that moment, it changes things. The truth can bring people together, or it can make them drift apart.

We've all been lied to. The truth has been hidden from us. Sometimes for our own good. Sometimes... Well, not everyone is here to think of what's best for us. Some people don't look beyond their life. All that matters is them selves. For whatever reason though, we've been lied to. And these lies scar us. They make us bitter. They make us hate. A pile of lies is like a pile of cow shit. You can scoop it up and use it as fertilizer. But it's still cow shit. It's still shit. You can use a lie against someone. Or you can use it to better your self. But a lie is still a lie.

Then there are the lies you tell your self. Maybe because you can't accept reality. Or maybe because you think you need to believe in a lie to go on in life. Trust me, you don't. Be honest with your self. Because once you start lying to your self, lying to others becomes all the more easy. But it isn't the lying that one should worry about. Its what the lie makes you.

You can bullshit your self and you can be full of shit. When you bullshit your self, you harm your self. When you are full of shit, you hurt others. You scar your self, and you scar others. In the end, you scar. And these scars aren't easy to erase. Or forget. They will continue haunting you and suffocating you. We leave scars behind without realizing they are scars. We think they are mere marks, but these marks are too often scars.

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