Illusions; The diluted first impressions

A dash of yellow paint on an otherwise blank paper. Add some water, and spread the paint a little. Add more water and spread it more. Repeat until the paint is a mere whisper on the paper.

This is what happens with the impression we have of people. The dash of yellow paint is that first impression. The water we keep adding is what we get to know about them. The whisper of yellow is the final image we have of that person. Sometimes we chuck that paper in a wastepaper basket as soon as we see that washed out yellow. Sometimes we feel that the faint yellow paper is still worth something, and we store it with all other papers; some darker than the others. However, later on in life, we will either forget about this paper, or throw it away.

We see this illusion, something that is not real. First impressions are often not-real impressions of a person. You can’t tell how honest or reliable someone is by that first impression. One glance their way, or a brief conversation will not open the gates to their thoughts and attitudes. Facial expressions do offer some hints of a person’s personality and characteristics. Looking at a person’s face, you may be able to say if they are happy, tired, sad, confused or angry. You can also tell if they are nervous, excited or worried.

One of my pet peeves is long finger nails. Male or female, long finger nails not only irritate me, they also disgust me. When talking to someone, especially for the first time, I would steal a glance at their fingers. This is not just to feed into my pet peeves, but also to determine how clean they are. If a person takes the trouble to keep his nails trimmed and clean, chances are he is a neat and tidy person. However, such assumptions are as close to the truth as the belief that those with large ears are intelligent and smart!

The first look we get of a person can tell us more than feelings and emotions. Their dressing sense can imply personality and religious beliefs, and of society he or she comes from.
However, an impression you form of a person goes beyond their physical appearance. Manners play a huge role in what you think of a person. If a man holds open a door for a female, I would consider him a gentleman. However, there seem to be not many gentlemen on earth, as I have had many doors literally shut on my face. While most people see no reason a female should be treated differently, simple things as holding open doors to females, greeting them gives a good impression of a person.

What could be asked is, are impressions important and should they matter? The answer should be no, but it isn’t. Impressions do matter. The image we have of someone will make us put more effort to maintain the relationship we have with them. Or it could make us realize they wouldn’t fit into our lives, and let go of them before it’s too late. It’s also important to know why we have a certain impression of someone. First impressions are often misleading. A very tall individual may seem intimidating at first, but can turn out to be an amazing person. This is why first impressions aren’t the only impressions, and they often turn out to be too far from the truth.

It takes knowing, learning and observing to get to know someone. And even after years of talking, chances are, you still would not know that person enough. Sometimes we create an illusion unknowingly. We do things that make others believe or assume something about us. And this is something which is rarely true or real.

At the end of the day, the image you had of a person will get lighter. Yet, a lighter image isn’t always a bad thing.

The Nation