Will you always remember me?

Two days ago, I made the mistake of reading Norwegian Wood right after reading Kafka on the Shore. I have read both books before but never the Kafka Sinhala translation and never two Murakami books one after the other.

One of my favorite Kafka on the Shore quotes is this:

"I want you to remember me, then I don't care if everybody else forgets."

The words are so powerful and yet, the request so simple. Norwegian Wood also has a similar quote.

"I want you always to remember me. Will you remember that I existed, and that I stood next to you here like this?"

And I'm sure so many other books also have similar quotes. Hazel and Augustus speak about something similar in The Fault in our Stars. Pudge too, in Looking for Alaska, speaks of someday remember only having forgotten. So it's not something new or never thought of before. But today, reading those words that Naoko says hit me more than ever before. Something about remembering that Miss Saeki said something very similar.

And I wondered then, if that's the purpose of life; do we spend our lives making sure we are remembered?

Look at graves. What purpose do they serve? I mean, why do we insist on having our names carved on stone so that our final place of rest is declared as ours? Don't we leave a tombstone behind or a rotting body behind because we don't want to be forgotten just yet? Why can't we all settle with ashes that get blown away? Why can't we leave this world without leaving behind something of us to remind others that we existed?

When we write about our experiences and thoughts and opinions, it could be because we don't want to forget them. But when we publish them... Then it's about other people. Sure, I write because I love writing. I share what I write because I hope that maybe someone out there will see what I'm trying to say. But I also want to be remembered. I want someone to come across my blog or Twitter account or tumblr and remember me.

And I don't want people to forget. Isn't that why I share posts on Facebook or send people 'hi, what's up?' sort of messages? Don't we all have this need to be remembered? Or at least, to not be forgotten?

What's sad isn't wanting this. It's not something we should be ashamed of. Being remembered or knowing someone remembers you makes you feel happy. So it's okay to admit that you don't want to be forgotten. Like Naoko and Miss Saeki, I too would want certain people to remember me. Maybe not for the same reasons as they did, but it would be nice if people remember me and my existence. I may not insist on being remembered by someday having a grave or tombstone but I do hope my words continue to exist somewhere, and for people to remember me through them at least.

What's sad is that we forget. We forget people and we forget memories. We constantly forgets things, not just because they aren't of any importance but because... we simply forget. And this is okay too. You can't except anyone to remember you forever. At some point, they will forget you, even for a moment.

Recently, I was thinking about my batch mates in school. It has been only four years since we left school. And yet, there are a few names I can't remember. Some I remember simply because we are friends on Facebook. It's been only four years but sometimes I struggle to remember if I ever spoke with certain people and what my friends used to be like in school.

And I've forgotten people I met in the last three years too. I can't remember them or the moments we spent together. I don't remember those memories.

I don't remember books I've read and sometimes, even if I know I have read the book, I can't remember what happens.

It's easy to forget. It's also inevitable. Just as much as people want to be remembered, they also forget. That's just how life is, but sometimes it's something we can't accept. And so we hate ourselves and other people for not remembering, for forgetting.

But what's most important is that we never demand to be remembered. And that we never promise to remember someone or something forever. Because... we should never demand for or promise the impossible.