Understanding suicide

They killed themselves over such trivial things. One died because her mother confiscated the mobile phone she got from her boyfriend. Of course, these people, now dead, all found themselves at the edge of the cliff. They thought they had no choice but to jump off.

Of course, we can't judge them. But here's the thing. We are looking at the wrong reasons. These acts that are blamed could have been what make them drink that poison, let the rope tighten or slit their wrists. It could have been what gave them that final push after months of being bullied, being under so much pressure and stress and of course depression.

I'm not one to Romanticize death. And I'm not one to say you should kill your self when you still have time left. However, there are two things to consider here. There is a thing called ayu kalaya which basically is how much time we have to live. One could have an ayu kalaya of sixty years while another has an ayu kalaya of twelve years. So it could just be that the 'victims' reached the end of their ayu kalaya.

Further we must look at how much strength one needs to commit suicide. Once, in school, a few friends were discussing their means of committing suicide, if it came to that. We all had some way, pills, blades or rope. However, something held us back and even during the darkest moments we couldn't bring ourselves to end it all. Something or someone stopped us. However, sometimes, you look around and you see no one. You are utterly alone, you are scared and you are lost. There is only one way to go and that path leads to death. Murder of oneself. Suicide.

And while everyone argues they were just fragile or weak, weren't they the complete opposite at that moment of death? Let me tell you that hurting yourself isn't easy. It's not easy to watch the blood flow. It's not easy to decide the issue was big enough for you to let go of everything.

Does this however, mean suicide is justifiable? That it is okay to commit suicide just because your lover broke up with you?

Look at your life. Think about all the good things that happened. The people you love. The people who love you. The happy memories. The nice people. The gifts. Then look at the darkness, sorrow and anger. The bad things that happened. Are the good things out weighted? Do they not make you want to live?

There are people out there dying of illness. They go through so much pain and fear. They finally die is such pathetic states. There are people who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. They didn't know this. They died because of their ignorance. There are people who had no say in their future. They were killed, some for no reason, some for terrible reasons, others even before they could be considered a person. There are people dying every second. And in their dying moment, they wish for a few more seconds to love. A few more hours.

Think about all those people. Think about their families. Think about how much longer they could have lived.

Do you still want to die before it's your time? Do you want to be just another dead soul? Do you want to let pain win?

We all have our share of sorrow, fear, pain, hate and anger. Kids are abandoned, disowned, raped, abused and threatened. I did use the word trivial, but I shouldn't be calling another's problem insignificant. We all matter, and our problems matter. It may seem small, it may seem like others have it worse. But you deserve to be heard. If you are depressed, talk to someone. If you have an eating disorder, talk to someone. If you want to give up, talk to someone.

Sometimes, there will be a shoulder to lean on. There will be someone to listen. But sometimes, there is no one. And then, you do jump off the cliff and some will cry while others insult. But let me tell you that they shouldn't.

You are perfect. You are beautiful. You deserve to live.