What’s fun about gossiping?

The Nation Free

You can’t deny having indulged in a session of gossip at least once in your life. Gossiping is seen as a fun and entertaining way to while away time. However, it is also, at times, disgusting and a shameful thing to do.

When you gossip about someone, at some point the story is exaggerated and soon enough, the original story is hidden beneath many false versions. People never gossip about good things. Have you heard people talk about the young couple, in love, who are such amazing parents to their one boy who looks like an angel? Do people talk about how well so and so is doing at his job and how much he deserves that latest promotion?

Instead gossip is hateful and hurtful. It is coated with jealousy and envy. We talk about the latest breakups, and tumbles in life. Who is cheating on whom, and who just lost her job. We gossip about the financial status of people, or their family matters. Nothing ever good comes out of gossiping.

While indulging in a gossip session, have you ever thought about what these very people say about you? Have you heard the rumors your so called friends spin around you? If your group of friends suddenly quitens down when you join them, chances are, they were talking about you. But they weren’t complimenting or praising you.

While you can’t stop people from gossiping about you, you can certainly give them little to gossip about. If you feed the fire hay, the fire will spread. However, if you douse it with water, the fire will die. Such is gossip. Make your private life public, someone told me recently. This way, your people will have no need to make us rumors or gossip about you. What feeds gossip is secrecy. People wonder how you paid for that brand new 42 inch TV you just bought, or that expensive restaurant you were dining at last night.

However, if the world knows how you paid for them, there is no use gossiping about it.

You can also get your act straight and behave in a non-gossip worthy manner. If a young female starts to get home very late, there will be stories spun about her late night outings. Maybe she’s only hanging out with her female friends, or working late, but people will talk, and there’s nothing that could stop them. Thus we too must make sure no scandals can be linked to us, that our reputation is never tarnished.

Living in Sri Lanka, this is difficult. Everyone loves gossiping, and news about the latest scandal spreads much fasted than news about the latest tsunami. However, it’s easier said than done to not feed the fire. The issue with making your private life public is simple. While people love to make public their happiness, they don’t want their sorrows to be known. We never hesitate to smile in public, no matter how fake our smiles are. Yet, we will never cry in public. Further, no matter how careful you are, no matter how well behaved you are, gossip doesn't need to be factually correct. Thus even though you live a good life, people will make up some story, mostly just out of spite.

Even if you turn a deaf ear to all the gossip about you, not many can do that. This is why you must never gossip about another. Walk in their shoes. Would you like to be talked about in that manner? It’s doubtful. Thus you should never indulge in those gossip sessions. No matter how entertaining they are.