Strangers with Memories

The Nation

There are people who once meant a lot to you. Then they stopped being there in your life. We all have such people, those we loved but somehow couldn’t accommodate in our lives anymore. The names of such people,  for now, are listed in a ‘People of the Past’ list. However, what are they to me? They were once friends, very close friends. Now, I never speak to them, rarely see them. Recently a friend expertly described such people who are neither friend, nor enemy as, ‘strangers with memories.’

This is exactly what they are. You hear that familiar voice, the fragrance you associate with them and all those memories you tried so hard to forget, come gushing to your mind. And you try to brush it off, convincing yourself that they don’t matter, that your friendship never mattered. But who are you kidding?

For a second, be honest with yourself. Admit that everyone who was once part of your life meant a lot to you. Because we may hate them, or think we do, but deep down, there is love. And love itself is often pushed away from our minds and hearts thanks to its forgotten meanings. When people say love, they usually mean romantic love. However, love is much more than that. It’s much more than sweet nothings and valentines. It’s everything and its nothing. Friends can love each other, and they should. Love is what makes you so possessive of them, so protective. And ultimately, love can be what makes you push them away from you.

A recent conversation with my mother ended with the conclusion that in everyone’s life there is pain, and there is suffering. There are times when it takes everything in you to not cry, to not let your voice quiver. And you want to appear strong or brave. You smile because it’s what everyone expects you to do. And yet, people see beyond that mask. They see the pain, they see how scarred you are.

Then why do we allow love or friendship to give us so much of pain? Why do we go ahead and talk to people even when our hearts tell us not to? It’s simple. Because, no matter what we tell ourselves, we can’t live alone. There are times when we feel lonely, yet, we are rarely alone. There is always someone you can talk to, someone who will listen. And when that person stops being there, someone else will take their place.

However, we tend to forget what people mean to us. Sometimes we decide to put an end to a story we share with a person, even though it doesn’t make much sense. We let the distance grow and we let our lives move away from each other. Days, weeks, months and years go by, and slowly we forget them. We forget what they meant to us.

Yet, all it takes is one look your way, one smile, one word to bring it all back. And then you regret everything, you wish things had never ended. You wish you were stronger. You curse yourself for being so weak. Yet, we all have those moments, no matter how strong we appear to be. We may smile or laugh away our troubles but if there’s one thing we all have in common, it is our pain, our suffering.

And yet, we mustn’t keep drowning in our tears. We shouldn’t let those strangers with whom we share memories, haunt us. We should move on, and if we can’t, we must forget.