'Cause Pigs can Fly

I’m a big believer of moments. I believe they happen for a reason and I believe certain moments deserve or demand to be lived differently from others. Some moments are to be spent with and around people. Sometimes you just need that one person who will look for you in a crowd, not because they are alone and seeking company but because they know you need them. Sometimes you need that person who will talk to you, even though you have no words to offer to them, the kind of people who will wait until you are ready to speak. Sometimes you need people who love you, even if you don’t or can’t love them, people you love even if they don’t or can’t love you, people who find happiness in your smiles and laughter or whose smiles and laughter give you reasons to be happy. Some moments demand to be spent with other people, a reminder that you aren’t alone in this world. There are moments, however, when you need to be alone but not completely alone. You need a book that will take you to ...

At nearly-22, the last thing I need in my life is marriage. Hell! I can't even maintain a friendship with a male for a couple of months. How the hell will I maintain a relationship or marriage? And yet, other people my age don't seem to be sharing similar beliefs. Oh, they are jumping straight into marriage and it sure is scary. So many of my friends are getting engaged or married and I'm freaking out. They are saying 'I do' while I'm still single, crying over fictional characters and binge-eating. It isn't fair, but how can I stop comparing my life with the lives of my batchmates? We grew up together. Shouldn't we be all single, crying over fictional characters and binge-eating? So people are getting married... people in their early-20s are getting married and I scoff at the idea. I keep saying things like, 'who in their right mind gets married at this age?' and thankfully my parents agree. But all these weddings make me wonder... what exactly...

While I'm not proud of it, I certainly don't even try to do anything about my inability to reply to messages. I always find some excuse and beyond a few hours/days of feeling guilty, I don't even care about the messages I don't reply to. Last night, I came across a Tumblr that was all about last messages and they were heartbreaking. Some were goodbye messages, but most weren't. They were simply messages that unexpectedly became last messages. Sometimes the conversation didn't continue because of death and other times because... It just never did. And going through the posts I realized how any of the messages in my inbox could be a last message and it's sad that they can be. It's even sadder that they will end up being a last message simply because I just didn't make an effort to reply to them. For the past few years, I made new year resolutions that I sealed in an envelope and only read at the end of the year. I never opened the ones I wrote for 2014...

If you know me or have read any of these posts ( this or this ) or any other rants about social situations, you'll know that I don't handle social situations or socializing that well. I'm more than happy to stand against a wall and hope that, in a miraculous turn of events, god sends me an invisibility cloak. I'm shy, awkward and scared of talking to people. Don't get me wrong. Regardless of what I say, I do love and appreciate it when people make an effort to talk with me but there aren't that many people I can talk with. It's just the way I am and I really wish more people would accept this and understand that talking or being friendly takes a lot of effort for me. My inability to make friends or conversation means I spend a lot of time alone. It's not that I don't have a lot of friends. I have enough and more friends but not all of them are people I can talk to. There's also the case that these are people I mostly speak to online. I rarely...