Don't be a dog

I don’t like a lot of things. I don’t like vegetables. I don’t like animals. I don’t like people. I don’t like physical contact. So yes, I don’t like a lot of things.

I’m also afraid of many things. I’m scared of commitment. I’m scared of animals, especially dogs. I’m scared of babies. I’m scared of kids. I’m scared of millipedes.

Dogs, I dislike/hate and also fear.

I was brought up in a house where dogs weren’t really allowed indoors. I feel icky when people let their pets live indoors and I feel repulsed when the pets are allowed in the kitchen and around food. Our cat, Johnny, sometimes walks in to the kitchen and we are quick to chase him away. He’s not given food indoors.

I also grew up in a house where whoever cooks makes sure the kitchen is clean and no strands of hair fall into the food. So with all these, it’s extremely difficult to eat food 1. With a pet breathing into my food and 2. In a house where the pets are allowed into the kitchen or where the food is prepared or served.

And this isn’t even about the animal itself but humans too. I wouldn’t eat food if I know someone kept breathing into it. That’s just disgusting. And I certainly wouldn’t eat out of a plate that a dog licked.

My fear of dogs is an entirely different story. I wasn’t always afraid of dogs. We used to have a pet dog. I loved this dog. But after his death, I never really got close to any other dog. This slowly turned into a fear of dogs.

This isn’t some silly fear. I feel faint and my legs become wobbly when there’s a dog around. My heart beats faster and I feel like I can’t breathe. I’m dead afraid of dogs. In fact, I’d rather have a blood test done (I’m afraid of needles poking my skin) than have a dog next to me. I’m incredibly afraid of dogs.

And so I don’t understand why people either think it’s nothing serious and that I’m overacting or that it’s something they can laugh at. We all have our fears. I have a friend who is shit afraid of frogs and toads. I may find this silly (I don’t- toads are kind of okay. Frogs aren’t though), but that doesn’t mean I can make fun of her.

I understand this. I’m 21, I’ve lived a pretty sheltered life. I’m selfish and silly. I don’t think things through. I’m quick to misunderstand and misinterpret. And I still understand that someone’s fears aren’t something to make fun of. So why can’t adults, in their forties and fifties, understand this? Why on earth do they force me to ‘just pet the dog’ because they say the dog won’t bite?

And it’s not even about the dog biting me. I’m just afraid of dogs. So even if the dog has a muzzle on it, I wouldn’t want to be near it.

We all have our fears. It can be dogs, cats, snakes, heights or even socializing. Respect these and understand this about people. Don’t force people to confront their fears and don’t laugh at people’s fears.

Yesterday, I had to not only deal with a dog who was constantly walking around and sniffing people, I also had to deal with so-called family* who had no respect or understanding whatsoever of my fears. So no, yesterday wasn't a good day. Yesterday was awful and I felt incredibly insulted.

And so I decided to write this.

This is a rant. It’s me telling my blog that I hate and fear dogs. But it’s also a message to people; friends and family. Look, if you have a pet dog, please don’t invite me to your place. I will understand and I will honestly prefer it if you don’t invite me. Because while I may like you, I don’t like your pet and so just as I can’t and shouldn’t expect you to keep your dog away, you shouldn’t expect me to deal with a dog.

*(I've called them so-called family because I expect family to have some consideration of my fears and not force me to deal with something they know I'm afraid of. Additionally, I also expect family to not think my fears are funny. Because they sure as hell aren't.)