'Cause Pigs can Fly

I’m a big believer of moments. I believe they happen for a reason and I believe certain moments deserve or demand to be lived differently from others. Some moments are to be spent with and around people. Sometimes you just need that one person who will look for you in a crowd, not because they are alone and seeking company but because they know you need them. Sometimes you need that person who will talk to you, even though you have no words to offer to them, the kind of people who will wait until you are ready to speak. Sometimes you need people who love you, even if you don’t or can’t love them, people you love even if they don’t or can’t love you, people who find happiness in your smiles and laughter or whose smiles and laughter give you reasons to be happy. Some moments demand to be spent with other people, a reminder that you aren’t alone in this world. There are moments, however, when you need to be alone but not completely alone. You need a book that will take you to ...

At nearly-22, the last thing I need in my life is marriage. Hell! I can't even maintain a friendship with a male for a couple of months. How the hell will I maintain a relationship or marriage? And yet, other people my age don't seem to be sharing similar beliefs. Oh, they are jumping straight into marriage and it sure is scary. So many of my friends are getting engaged or married and I'm freaking out. They are saying 'I do' while I'm still single, crying over fictional characters and binge-eating. It isn't fair, but how can I stop comparing my life with the lives of my batchmates? We grew up together. Shouldn't we be all single, crying over fictional characters and binge-eating? So people are getting married... people in their early-20s are getting married and I scoff at the idea. I keep saying things like, 'who in their right mind gets married at this age?' and thankfully my parents agree. But all these weddings make me wonder... what exactly...

While I'm not proud of it, I certainly don't even try to do anything about my inability to reply to messages. I always find some excuse and beyond a few hours/days of feeling guilty, I don't even care about the messages I don't reply to. Last night, I came across a Tumblr that was all about last messages and they were heartbreaking. Some were goodbye messages, but most weren't. They were simply messages that unexpectedly became last messages. Sometimes the conversation didn't continue because of death and other times because... It just never did. And going through the posts I realized how any of the messages in my inbox could be a last message and it's sad that they can be. It's even sadder that they will end up being a last message simply because I just didn't make an effort to reply to them. For the past few years, I made new year resolutions that I sealed in an envelope and only read at the end of the year. I never opened the ones I wrote for 2014...

If you know me or have read any of these posts ( this or this ) or any other rants about social situations, you'll know that I don't handle social situations or socializing that well. I'm more than happy to stand against a wall and hope that, in a miraculous turn of events, god sends me an invisibility cloak. I'm shy, awkward and scared of talking to people. Don't get me wrong. Regardless of what I say, I do love and appreciate it when people make an effort to talk with me but there aren't that many people I can talk with. It's just the way I am and I really wish more people would accept this and understand that talking or being friendly takes a lot of effort for me. My inability to make friends or conversation means I spend a lot of time alone. It's not that I don't have a lot of friends. I have enough and more friends but not all of them are people I can talk to. There's also the case that these are people I mostly speak to online. I rarely...

It’s the last day of November, which means that tomorrow will be the beginning of the last month of 2015. It’s been an interesting year but an all about 2015 post will be better at the end of the year. Today, it will be all about November. This month, I left my job and spent the month at home. I didn’t look for another job, which I sort of regret now because not having anything to do is frustrating. But I’m happy I finally decided to leave this place that was always like home to me. It was time and while I still love the place and people, I shouldn’t have been there any longer. In October, I promised myself that if I wrote 30,000 words of ‘my story’ by the end of 2015, I would take a year off work and focus on my writing. I completed NaNoWriMo, something I didn’t think was at all possible and so I now have a 50,000 word story. It’s nowhere close to completion but I’ve at least taken the first step towards finally writing a story. You see, I love writing and while all ...

The best kind of people are those who don't care that you have zero pictures with them. They are the people who put their phones away when they are with you and don't check-in at places and tag you in those posts. They are the people who don't care if you didn't wish them for their birthday and understand when you forget something about them or need time and space away from them. They are the people you don't need to introduce to your parents or other friends because they've already heard so much about them. They are the people you have long conversations with but don't necessarily talk to every day. They are the people who are thankful for your existence and those whose existence you are so thankful for. They are the people you can have late-night conversations with or just walk side by side, in silence. They are the people who don't force you to be someone you aren't. They are the people you can trust to not break your heart or let go of your han...

In life, we can't stay stagnated. We need to move on and on. But moving on means leaving something or someone behind. We usually don't realize this until after we have decided to move on. Moving on or moving away doesn't necessarily mean moving away from a person or place. Sure, when you move from Sri Lanka to the US, you leave a place and people behind. When you change your place of work, you leave behind friends and a place you loved like your own home. We move on from states or stages of life too. This is what makes birthdays important. It marks an arrival as well as a departure. When you turn 13, you arrive at this amazingly beautiful, scary, confusing and messy stage of life. But you also depart from childhood. We don't get to make that many choices in life. Today, I came home in a crowded train and the compartment I was in smelled vaguely of farts. It was stuffy and I would have rather been in a bus, three wheeler or better yet, the staff transport van I had tra...

Love. 2009-me thought it would be a good idea to maintain a diary and also a public blog. The latter was ruthlessly deleted this year but the diaries are still in a box, waiting to embarrass me someday. I loved reading old posts on my blog, only on bad days of course. They reminded me that... life is life. You just have to deal with it. The diaries, they taught me something else. They told me a little secret about love. It’s easy to love. It’s easy to be loved. But it’s not easy to accept that the person you love doesn’t love you or that you don’t love the person who loves you. If you have experience the latter, you would know how bad it is. Unrequited love is bad when you are the one doing all the loving and it’s worse when you are the one who isn’t returning it. You feel like something inside you is dead. You feel like you committed a crime but someone else is being punished for it. This post, however, isn’t about unrequited love or how awful love makes you feel. It’s ab...