Straight propaganda

I was at an event recently where they spent a whole lot of time speaking about the evil LGBT+ brainwashing kids are apparently subjected to these days. The hate and misinformation they kept spewing made me leave the event midway. Since that event, I've had a couple of conversations on this topic.

It's interesting, you know, because we point out that movies and books have a lot of LGBT+ content now. That we are surrounded by it. Choking on it. You can't go anywhere without having to 'deal with' something or the other that is queer.

But here's what people forget or seem to not realise. We are also surrounded by a lot of straight content. And not just straight content but a very specific heterosexuality.

Since I was in my teens, I've known that I don't want to get married or have kids. A lot of people think that these are things you come to accept as you get older and realise that you have no real prospects, but that's not always the case. Sometimes, you just know what you want in life.

I've also come to realise that at least for now I don't want to date or be in a relationship, so while I am straight, I don't fit into that very specific heterosexuality that is forced down our throats since we are born.

You see, it's not enough to be straight. You need to get married and have kids and raise a family and then marry your kids off when they are old enough and pressure them to give you grandchildren. You can't live together with someone, you can't have sex before marriage, if you are a man, affairs are sort of 'allowed' but if you are a woman, they are a big no.

We tease preschool kids about their opposite sex friends even though they may not even understand this gender difference. Kids' movies and cartoons and books contain a lot of straight content that doesn't need disclaimers or warnings or censoring. And as a kid grows up, even though we frown upon dating or sex education or anything like that, we make it known that a girl should eventually find a suitable boy and have his babies and be a good wife and good mother.

But what happens when you don't want that life? When you don't want marriage or children? Do people keep quiet and let you be because that's your choice? No. They question your sanity. They ask if there's something wrong with you. They claim you will change your mind when you meet the right person. Even people who seem progressive can't accept it when someone doesn't want that specific type of life, which has a lot to do with sexuality, even though we tend to not look at it that way.

And it's not just the comments from annoying aunties or uncles. You see, if you don't want that kind of life, then you will be unhappy, you will be lonely, you will be excluded and marginalised. You will be unsuccessful. You will be a waste of space.

And god forbid you are a woman who is into casual intimacy or dating. Dear lord, the criticism and insults. People can't wrap their heads around the idea of a woman who doesn't want that marriage-kids-monogamy-commitment life. If you are straight, then you *must* want the marriage-kids life that everyone else seems to want and in some cases settle for, even when that life brings nothing but misery.

I can't speak about men or other genders, but as a woman, there's a specific way of expressing our sexuality that is accepted in society, and any deviation is considered immoral or wrong or shameful. But we don't criticise this as brainwashing like we do with anything related to LGBT+ life choices, do we? Because we may see it as sexism, but we don't see it as a forcing of a certain sexuality.

It may boil down to fear; fear of change, of deviation. It may stem from ignorance. But whatever it is, I do wish people can learn to live and let live, to be less critical, to be more understanding. Because having to figure out what you want as an adult isn't easy. It's scary and confusing and complex. And while you figure all of this out, having society force you into certain boxes or moulds deemed acceptable makes you feel like someone who is expected to balance a pile of books on your head while also balancing a lime in a spoon in your mouth while also juggling five oranges and riding a unicycle.

The thought of it gave you a headache? That's what it's like dealing with the questions and curiosity and insults when you are 31 and single with no plans to get married or have kids.