My main mood is cranky while I'm sometimes all happy and excited and
talkative. And it's a pity when people meet me during my off days and think
I'm this person who is super excited to be alive. But they, at some
point, meet me when I'm in my usual mood. Their natural reaction is to
say I've changed and ask me what's wrong. But they refuse to accept that
I am cranky 90% of my life. And then they tell me to go back to being
the person they know. They refuse to accept that I don't have a choice
in the matter. Explaining it to them is of no use because the conversation
keeps going in circles. And also because, if my behavior causes no harm to me or
anyone else, I don't see why I need to explain myself to anyone. It
makes no sense that we search for happiness with such passion. But while
chasing after happiness, we often forget that the opposite of happiness
isn't sadness. And that not being happy (outwardly happy, that is)
isn't a bad thing. Because when I'm ignoring humans, not saying much or
not showing interest in conversation, I am still happy... in my own way.
to like someone
During a conversation, a friend said something like, "I don't hate you. I mean, not that I like you either." And for those few seconds before he explained this I looked at him thinking, "Seriously dude, WTF! We've known each other since the beginning of this year, and you mayn't need to like me as someone who works with you. But we are friends and am pretty sure friends like each other!" And all this time I was trying not to look hurt! Then he said, "What I meant was that I don't like you in that way. I don't like like you. I just like you" That repeated work which gives the whole liking process a new meaning. Now when in school and having a crush was well, kind of embarrassing, we would say, "Oh! I like him." And our friends would ask, "Oooh! Do you like like him?" Now you can like people, or you can like like them. Of course to like someone is to tolerate them, to give them the time of your day. To enjoy and ...
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