rout (part 2)
When I was 21, a boy – or should I say man? – I wasn’t particularly fond of told me he liked me and because beggars can’t be choosers, I decided to give it a shot. When my mother got wind of this or maybe I just told her, she discouraged it, saying he was not suitable for me. She had a point. We were seated in the veranda when we had this conversation. It was past 7pm and too dark for us to see each other’s faces. A blessing, really, because I already felt so exposed. I remember saying, “I deserve to be happy.” A few days later, I told this boy I didn’t really like him and we ended things and he went on to find happiness elsewhere. Prior to this, I had only had one other person show any interest in me and he too, found happiness elsewhere. Since then, I’ve mostly remained by myself, convincing myself and those around me that I didn’t need a relationship or love. But I kept searching for happiness, because by then, the unhappiness I had felt since my teens had become a compa...